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God in the ‘Tenderizing’ Seasons

Tracy Graves Stevens

Oops, I Did It Again

Sometimes, when I look back over my life, I realize how many times God has had to save me.  As much as I hate to admit it, many times He has had to save me from myself!  My Savior has had to save me, too many times, from doing things I know I shouldn’t be doing.  That’s when God’s Holy Hand, reaching in to intervene, reminds me of the process used to get meat to a state where it is chewable and tasty.   In the normal process of meat preparation, a good marinade should be all that is needed to make it palatable.  But sometimes, when the meat is a little tough, you need a meat tenderizer to soften it up.  God can be like a tenderizer at certain points in our lives when we need some ‘softening’. 

Now, I believe God prefers to marinate us with His Word and Spirit.  That is what I call the ‘spice route’, where He uses the salt of His Word and the fragrance of His Spirit to get our attention.   However, there are those times God needs to be that tool, you know, the one that looks much like a hammer.  That tool is a pretty harsh tool and it is used to ‘pound out’ the resistant areas of our lives to bring in the taste and tenderness.  

Time to Tenderize

There are times in life where we are like the reference in Acts 7:51 where God looks at us like a “stiff-necked people.”  That is when we resist the direction of the Holy Spirit to ‘do right’ and follow our own feelings and desires.  That begins what I call the ‘tenderization season’ in our living where God steps in and creates a level of interference to get us back on track.  It can be momentary, where the correction is only for an instant (like the marinade) or it can last longer if the actions warrant it.  The hardest response is when the tenderization comes by way of the ‘hammer’ – think Jonah, when he disobeyed God’s direction because he wasn’t ‘feeling it’ (Jonah 1:1-3). Or the Israelites so many times throughout the Bible when they refused to follow God’s way. 

Remember, when God’s refining fire comes into your life, it is much easier to BEAR if it comes via the light touch of God’s ‘marinade’ vs. the blunt force (and prickly points) of a tenderizing hammer.  God loves us enough to give us the free will to choose His Will.  He also loves us enough to use discipline to help us recognize that His course is the best course.  Tenderization is discipline. I believe this allows us to understand the ramifications of our choices and not blame Him when our decisions are not aligned with His.

Tenderization is Discipline

His Word reminds us that He is always available to save us from ourselves. The door is never closed to make a ‘hard turn’ to get out of the trouble we have created and make to choice to choose Him.  Think about the prodigal son, whose choices led him to a place where even pigs lived better than he did (Luke 15:13-16).  Once he ‘got it’ he ran back home to the loving arms of a waiting father.  That is how God is with us.  However, one thing I have learned in my own faith walk, God will not continue to give you rope after life-saving rope without some ‘tenderization’.  This is part of the loving discipline of a loving God who wants us to experience the best things in life.

So…Our humanity will sometimes create tenderizing seasons in life.

It is better to avoid the hammer by marinating in God’s Word, spending time in prayer to listen to His voice and following His directions.  If you find yourself on the wrong end of God’s discipline, don’t ignore Him (like Jonah), follow Him.  And always remember, God loves you and only wants the best for you.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

#LivingTheRedeemedLife

Walk It Like You Talk It

Tracy Graves Stevens

Walk it like you talk it or, more personally, walk it like I talk it.  That is the lesson I must keep in mind as I walk through this life and as I tell others about Jesus. The importance of this edict stays on my mind constantly, but it hasn’t always been there.  I had to learn that people are always watching how I respond to events in life as God matures my faith and I have to be intentional in thinking about my responses.

Button, Pushed

I recently had an experience where I found myself in a disagreement with another person.  Not just any person but one who was also a Christian, like me.  Nothing unusual, we all get into differences of opinion, but for some reason, this disagreement spiraled way out of the context of what we were in conflict about.  Their response hit me in my emotional core which made me want to reply far more aggressively than I probably needed to.  The other person sensed this and put up their defenses and the next thing I knew, we were facing an all-out argument.  Why and how did this happen?  As Christians, we should know better right?  Well, the other person was my husband who is the one person that can push all my emotional hot buttons.  And boy, he did at that moment.

Take a Breath

Thankfully, the outcome was not what it could have been.  If it had happened at an earlier time in my life this would have resulted in some hurt feelings.  That was during the early days of my walk with Christ.  It has taken some time, but controlling my emotions was the first thing God had to deal with in my soul.  I grew up in a family where letting the other person know what was on your mind was the norm vs. the exception so I had to learn to respond differently.  Thank God, He didn’t give up on me and realistically, I am still learning, one day at a time.

Colossians 2:8 says –

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces[a] of this world rather than on Christ.”

When you read this scripture, it speaks to the importance of knowing the truth of God’s Word, so we don’t fall victim to false interpretations embedded in human traditions.  I take this one a bit further because I believe our responses to the ‘things of life’ are also related to our interpretation of what God says is appropriate.   Just because everyone is doing it or it is legal, doesn’t make it right.  We must ‘walk it like we talk it’ as God’s Ambassadors on earth.  In my case, responding in anger would have only made the situation worse and the Bible is very clear that we should be “slow to anger” (James 1:19).

Let Your Light Shine

We need to ‘walk it like we talk it’ because people are always watching.  The enemy will use others, especially those close to you, to get you to be an example that is opposite of what God is telling you to be.  That is why we need to understand the importance of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5) and relying on the Holy Spirit to direct our paths (John 14:26).  Additionally, spiritual warfare is real and determined to make you stumble.  Our responses can not only make us stumble but can also be an obstacle to another person’s faith walk.  Think about it – who wants to be around a bunch of angry, impatient, abusive people?  That’s why we need to understand how God wants us to live and respond to life’s experiences.  Don’t worry if you are reading this and feel “oh, oh, I have not been responding appropriately.”  Thankfully God’s grace and mercy can pick us up, dust us off and give us another chance to make it right.

Get into the Bible, pray and be in relationship with God.  The Holy Spirit will tell you how to walk, where to walk and even when to walk away.  And the reality of it all, God promised us He would fight our battles for us, so let God respond for you (Exodus 14:14).

#LivingTheRedeemedLife

God Kept Me

Tracy Graves Stevens
The meaning of the Cross is always protecting me

God Kept Me

That is my testimony. God kept me.  Just like the song lyrics say, God kept me.  Through the valleys and uncertainties, God has kept me. The experiences of my life’s journey remind me of how God’s cover stays with us always.  God kept me, and He keeps you too.

Looking in the Rearview

It has been one year since I published my book, “What Just Happened?  Living the Redeemed Life, When All Hell Breaks Loose.”  An eventful year filled with testimonies from others who were touched by my story and the busyness that comes from taking that initial step of going from personal privacy to transparency on a more public level. It has been a year where I have had to face my fears as well as my strengths and weakness.  I’ve had to break down personal barriers to my esteem and identity because it is not easy putting your story ‘out there’.  I realize that my life has been crazy and wondrous all at the same time.  I also got more connected to the gifts God has poured into me as I put that ‘social butterfly’ tendency I’ve always had (that sometimes annoys my husband) to work. Who knew that my chattiness was really a gift to be used?  I didn’t know but God did.  It was also a time where I saw God open doors that could only have been opened because of the experiences I had gone through.  This year only added to the ‘awe’ I already knew about our awesome God!

Finding My Way

This new season didn’t just begin in the last year, it really started three years ago with the transition of a career I had always known and my mother’s illness and ultimate death. As I mentioned in my book, when these events happened, I lost my foundation.  I not only lost my income but my identity as I knew it (at least in my mind).  Things changed so drastically for me that the coping skills I have used my entire life didn’t work for me.  I prayed and cried so much that they became my daily norm.  That is where the lyrics to the song “I Almost Let Go” by Kurt Carr & the Kurt Carr Singers came into play:

I almost let go
I felt like I couldn’t take life anymore
My problems had me bound
Depression weighed me down

But God held me close
So I wouldn’t let go
God’s mercy kept me
So I wouldn’t let go

Way – Found

The Lord’s presence in my life sustained me and pulled me up in my grief.  His mercy allowed me to recognize I still had breath and could take a small step each day.  The book was the culmination of the journaling I did to heal through the process. Only God could take that season of my life and turn it into something that I could speak about as a blessing! As I look back on how God loved me through my loss I realize – it had to happen the way it happened.  God needed to give me the understanding I now have for the new places He is taking me in my career, ministry, and life.  Just like salvation, life comes from death.  Gain comes from loss.  Lessons come from pain and healing eventually comes from hurt.   God kept me, and He keeps you too.

That is Living the RedeemedLife. You are not alone, and God really has a plan and purpose for your life, through all of the ups and the downs. 

You are Redeemed, Restored and Rejoiced! 

#LivingtheRedeemedLife

The Ups and Downs of Thanksgiving

Tracy Graves Stevens

Heart picture for grief

Thanksgiving Day signals the beginning of the frenzy of the holiday season.  For some,  it is a reminder of the wonderful birth of our risen Savior, Jesus Christ.  And for others, it is the beginning of the shopping season (and discounts) leading up to Christmas.   For many, it is both! It is during this time, I am reminded of the many things I have to be thankful for.  There are the obvious things like my family and my health.  As I age though, these things are taking on new meanings and shapes but I am still thankful.  Most days, just to be able to wake up and embrace the newness of the day is something I cherish.

The Value of My Alabaster Box

I actually started writing this blog before Thanksgiving but the emotion of the week took over. This year, I have to admit, I am struggling.  I wasn’t struggling to be thankful, no, God has blessed and kept me.   For some reason this year I am reminded of that delicate balance of how blessings can also have that distinction of being fulfilling and painstaking at the same time.   See, for me (and many others) the Thanksgiving season is a stark reminder of those things that have passed on in life.  It is a reminder of the now empty chair that used to be occupied by a loved one.

Tough Times…At Times

This is now the third Thanksgiving where all of the family’s parents (mine and my in-laws) are absent.  Though we have grown accustomed to this new existence it is still a void that we busily ignore while cooking and hustling through the festivities.  The week of Thanksgiving is especially hard for me because it is also the week my mother’s health took a turn for the worse and she never recovered.  My mother loved the fellowship of Thanksgiving; the grocery shopping, the cooking, the crowded kitchen, she loved it!  It was her lack of wanting to participate in the planning three years ago that signaled something was very wrong.  She went into hospice care right after that holiday and went on to Glory shortly afterward.

I recognize this holiday season can be tough for so many of us.  Though gratitude is at the core of our hearts, some of our memories have a tinge of pain connected due to loss, grief, and change.  I think about the song by CeCe Winans where she sings about people not knowing the pain behind the oil in her alabaster box.  I cry when I hear that song because I truly can empathize.

Hope Still Lies Ahead

It is also during these times when I also realize there is nothing in this world that God is not aware of or understands.  It is during these times I cry out to Him because I trust He knows what is in my heart.  When I feel the void of my mothers presence, like when I am looking for her oyster dressing recipe, He says “I know My child, I hear your tears.”  It is during this time He also reminds me that she is fine with Him and it is alright to feel sad because He knows the love we had for each other.  God knew what He was doing when He allowed her to have me and the feelings of grief when she passed away.  He knows about the bond of mother and daughter.  He knows about the grief and the emptiness we feel when family, friends, and sometimes even things, are no longer with us.  God created everything and He understands.  We are not alone.

Turn to God’s Word

It is during times like this I believe we have to turn to His voice in the Bible to get the strength to get through.  If the holiday season is a bit tough for you – the following are points to remember to help you along:

  • Rejoice in all things, pray continually and be forever grateful.   (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
  • For everything, there is a season so trouble doesn’t last forever. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
  • God promised He will give us the strength to get through the things we face. God didn’t say life would be easy but He did say He would never leave us.  (Isaiah 41:10, 1 Peter 5:10)
  • God can take the most heartwrenching situations and use them for good. (Romans 8:28)
  • God says our sacrifice of Thanksgiving is what He desires and when we call on Him, He is the one who will deliver us. (Psalm 50:13-15)

My friends, for those memories, your grief, that unwanted life change and that need that seems to be continually unfilled – God says to bring it all to Him.  He understands and can carry you through.  Give it to Him, with Thanksgiving.

#LivingTheRedeemedLife

Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself

Tracy Graves Stevens

It Starts With Love

Love Your Neighbor.  It is the simple direction Jesus left with us when questioned about which commandment was the greatest (Mark 12:28-31).  He answered,  “Love your neighbor”.  Your neighbor could be living on either side of your home or working in the office next door.  Your neighbor could also be occupying the bedroom next to yours in the same house.  The Bible didn’t say ‘change your neighbor’ or ‘judge your neighbor’, it just said to love your neighbor.  During the divided times we appear to be living in across this world it makes me wonder – why is it so hard to love our neighbor?  To make it personal, why is it so hard for me to love my neighbor?  I think it all boils down to the other simple concept laid out in this scripture…if you are going to love your neighbor you must also love yourself.

The scripture says in verses 30-31:

30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no commandment greater than these.”

Love Me Too?

Interestingly, when I read this verse I have this visual of a triangle with God, me and my neighbor at each point.  This triad is one that is continually cycling.  God loves me, then I love my neighbor, then my neighbor loves (or learns of) God.  Then God loves my neighbor, then they love me and then I love God.  It is a continuous process that blesses all and gives God the Glory. It seems though, the hardest part of this verse is the ‘loving yourself’ part.  I truly believe it is hard to love our neighbor genuinely because we must first learn to genuinely love ourselves.  See, we have an intimate view of our flaws, fears, and shortcomings.  We know what is in or secrets closet.  We know what we have been through.  With all that we know, who could love us? Without conditions too?

Receive God’s Love

Thankfully, God loves us beyond what we see.  He always sees our potential and purpose.  God wants you to know you were created with perfection in mind (Song of Solomon 4:7).  You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).  Sometimes it is easier to serve and love our neighbors because it makes us feel better about ourselves.  In other words, our kindness provides a justification to love ourselves which isn’t quite how I believe God wants us to perceive our existence.  Our love for our neighbor is an extension of our love for ourselves and our love for ourselves is an extension of God’s love for us.  Also, it shows our understanding of the beautiful creation we are because God made us.  God loves us, flaws and all.  Looking back at that triangle again, it the perfect foundation to demonstrate the righteousness of God with each point interacting with each other – respectfully, lovingly and with compassion.

How do we get to ‘loving’  ourselves?  Love God with all your heart and soul.  Let God love you back.  Receive His unconditional love.  God doesn’t love us because of ourselves, God loves us in spite of ourselves with no boundaries.

That is how we love our neighbors.  Can you imagine what this world would be like if we operated this way?  It leaves me breathless to think of what that state would look like.  So, until then, I’m going to start where God has me – in my home, my neighborhood, my workplace and my church.

And, by the way, also start with loving you!  Start where God has you – but first look up and thank God for creating beauty and perfection in you – then, pass it on.

This is the foundation of Living the Redeemed Life.  God has already prepared the path for your purpose in this world with his redeeming love.  Walk in it, love and don’t look back!

#LivingTheRedeemedLife